Helloooooo lovely hoomans!
Weird anecdote for today’s blog post – English spring weather is bizarre! We’re supposedly in spring, and up until last week I might have believed it. There were daffodils popping up everywhere, blossoms blooming on trees and sunshine was an almost constant feature! This week however, I am at a loss for words. Since Wednesday, we have had sun, clouds, wind, rain, sleet, hail and snow. All in one day!
WHAT IS THIS RIDICULOUSNESS?!
Let’s just say after getting caught in the craziness trying to take my recycling out, I’m taking shelter in my flat until the weather is consistent for at least two hours.
I was really struggling with an idea for what to write about this week. I think my brain is turning to mush from the constant staring at endless academic articles. It wasn’t until I met up with a few friends that I suddenly remembered a topic I’ve been wanting to talk about for some time – different personalities and conflict resolution.
This is something we all have to deal with, sometimes on a daily basis. In life, there is pretty much a guarantee you’ll have to interact with people who have different personalities to your own, and as in life, there will be conflict. Unfortunately, one thing I’ve noticed during my time at uni is that conflict is often not confronted or dealt with directly, so all these bitter feelings and unhappiness just lurk in the background until people either part ways with a smile on their face but daggers shooting out their eyes (metaphorically!), or it all blows up in a dramatic soap opera episode.
In a way, it reminds me a little of the situation between Joy and Sadness in Inside Out – they literally have opposite personalities, and this difference causes a lot of underlying conflict that they (particularly Joy) don’t properly address until it all boils over. Only when they actually talk about everything honestly and accept their differences, do things magically start to work out. It may be an animated movie, but it definitely has some transferable messages.
At the end of the day, there are only three things you need to remember:
You don’t have to agree to accept
People are different and have different opinions. And that’s okay! You don’t have to agree with someone to accept them, or what they’re saying. My boyfriend and I are complete opposites so we definitely haven’t always agreed, but when that conflict comes up, we give each other the space to express their point of view and try to find a compromise. I also have a very different personality than my best friend. Being different doesn’t have to lead to conflict, so long as both people accept that you are different and are allowed to have different opinions.
Just talk about it
Sometimes though, conflict can’t be avoided, or it just sparks up. I’ve always been someone who can’t let fights fester and stay unresolved – it just makes me sick and stressed. Everyone has different ways of dealing with conflict. Some people hide it in passive aggressiveness, others have big fights, and some just bury it but all of those can lead to a lot of negativity and personal unhappiness and the only way to get over it all, or avoid it is to just sit down and talk. Now I know that is easier said than done, especially when you know that there is unintentional conflict (e.g. if a friend is negatively impacting you but you know they aren’t doing it on purpose). If it’s challenging to talk about it, I get you! But something that helped me is always thinking about if the roles were reversed – would you want that person to come and talk to you about it? Have a cup of tea (and a slice of cake if it’s an intense topic), take a deep breath, and just talk.
Remember to look after you
This is a big one that took me too long to learn – whether it’s dealing with a friend or colleague with a clashing personality, resolving conflicts or even talking through things, you always need to think about your own mental health and look after yourself. One of my friends can be quite negative, and I wasn’t planning on confronting them because I knew it wasn’t intentional. That is until it started making me feel miserable and negative all the time, and I knew that even though I didn’t want to possibly start a conflict, I needed to say something. Sometimes you need to be really brave to prioritise your happiness but it’s not selfish to want to do so.
Dealing with conflict can be so difficult, but at the end of the day, we need to address it. Be brave, and take the first step in mending bridges, or confronting negativity. It’s difficult to deal with in the moment, but once it’s done it’s onwards and upwards!
I feel like my ‘mom personality’ really came out in the post with all the conflict resolution and cheesy tips, but I’ve promised myself that I’ll talk about real things on this blog that I’m going through, and even if it sounds dorky to share it anyway so there ya go everyone! I hope you enjoyed today’s post, and if you have any of your own tips for conflict resolution, or dealing with different personalities, please share it in the comments section and we can chat about it!
Until next week, stay sparkly everyone!
Lots of Love
Blondey on a Mission xxx