In every relationship, there are milestones and goals that everyone thinks need to be celebrated. A particular milestone for me is completing the first holiday together as a couple. Not the usual holiday of both of you having work off or school off at the same time and you can see each other more. No – I mean the two of you going away somewhere whether it is just the two of you or you with their family and vice versa. The reason why I think that this is a milestone is that it is very different being on holiday with someone than just seeing them on a day to day basis or going out together. Being on holiday in a different place means that both of you are out of your comfort zones, and you can’t retreat at the end of the day by going home if you have a fight or want your own space. With this in mind, holidays can often be quite a stressful time for couples and can cause problems that didn’t exist beforehand but fear not. I’ve been lucky enough to go overseas with my boyfriend three times, and even though we had our fights and disagreements, we made it out stronger than ever. That is why I would like to share with you some of the lessons I have learnt about travelling with your partner so that you both end up having a good holiday without wanting to kill the other (yes I have had that urge).
The most important lesson I learnt is that as much as you think that you know your partner, travelling can introduce new aspects of them that you haven’t seen before so remember to be understanding. My boyfriend had never left our home country before he met me and so us travelling together meant that he was a lot more out of his depth than I was. When you and your partner travel together, you need to think about how they might be feeling. Even if they are the most confident person you know back home, being in a new place can often make the best of us anxious, and we need to come to grips with the fact that it is not their fault and we need to help them through that. If your partner is struggling with the new place or acting differently, don’t get angry with them. Just accept that they may not be adapting quite as quickly as you have, and if they see that you are understanding and supportive, they will calm down and be their usual selves again much faster than if you were to get upset with them.
You’re allowed to want space
What I’ve found that people often think is that when a couple goes on holiday together, they are expected to spend every minute of the day with each other. This could not be more wrong! Being on holiday together doesn’t change the fact that you are still your own person and you are allowed to have some time for yourself. Asking if you can have an hour of alone time isn’t a sin, and in fact, I would highly recommend that you have some alone time on holiday. Often, spending lots of time together without being able to escape into your own space (especially if you are not used to spending this much time with your partner) can cause you both to be more irritable and susceptible to fighting about stupid things. Don’t let this happen when you don’t need to. Even if it is just for thirty minutes a day for your week-long holiday, take that time to exist in your own bubble. If I want to spend some time on my own, my boyfriend gives me an hour or two to read or blog, and he will either go and listen to music or go for a cycle. These small gestures allow us to refresh and get a clear head so don’t forget to spend some time with yourself just because you are on holiday with your partner.
Some may think that this is impossible but trust me when I say it is. Personally, I don’t believe that there are two more stubborn individuals than my boyfriend and I and if we can somehow find a middle ground, then I know it is possible for most people. Compromising is an essential part of being on holiday together because I am pretty sure that both of you have different plans about what you want to see or do. Yes, you may not want to do everything that your partner wants to do, but I’m sure that they feel the same and the last thing that you two want to do is get into a silly argument about your day to day itinerary. The trick though, is not to go overboard and forfeit everything you want to do for them because that isn’t going to do any good either so my suggestion is to sit down together. Both of you have a list or a general idea of what you want to do and share that with your partner and figure out a way that you can get an even amount of what you both want to do done. Maybe the art museum you want to visit is right next to the park that they want to walk through, and just around the corner is a famous ice cream shop (and both of you love ice cream because who doesn’t?)? Try and see how you can combine what you both want to do, and maybe you’ll spark a new interest in your partner but finding a compromise is the best way to ensure that you both stay happy and have a good holiday.
When you and your partner are disagreeing, don’t let the emotion get the better of you and cause you to snap or lose control. I will always be the first person to say that you are allowed to get upset and feel emotion, but you shouldn’t let it take over your actions and cause you to lose control. So if you do have an argument, try and stay calm and rational (it may be hard but trust me it will be worth it) because when you are calm and can think clearly, a fight will seldom spin out of control and grow bigger, and you will actually end it much faster than if you both had just lost it. This may seem like a small one, but it may just be the most important.
Communication is still crucial
I believe that communication is the most critical aspect of a relationship because most fights are because of a misunderstanding or a lack of understanding. Two people having a conversation can solve both of these. Communication is crucial because it not only stops arguments before they have begun, but they also allow your partner to understand you better so that fights can be avoided in the future and communication becomes even more critical on holiday. When you are travelling together, things can often get tense for no particular reason just because of the stress of travel, being anxious about being somewhere you’ve never been or just because things are not how they usually are. This can often lead to unnecessary arguments and fights, and the tense atmosphere means people avoid talking about it and getting it out in the air. I implore you to avoid falling into this trap! If something is bugging you or is making you upset then talk to your partner and encourage them to do the same thing. They shouldn’t be angry with you for voicing your opinion and expressing how you feel will both help them to understand and hopefully empathise, and you to come to grips with how you are feeling and let it go. You shouldn’t be afraid to talk to your partner if something isn’t sitting right with you and I’ve often underestimated just how understanding my boyfriend can be. Trust your partner and talk to them about how you feel because it is the only way to move forward.
While there may be things to stress about like accommodation and getting to flights on time, the whole point of a holiday is to get away and have a fun, relaxing time. Don’t let silly little things spoil your holiday or stop you doing things that you want to do because you having fun will be contagious for your partner, and soon you both will be having fun, and you won’t have a care in the world. My boyfriend and I have never really done hikes together before but one trip we happened to be walking through the snow in Switzerland, and I started messing around and just enjoying myself. Soon, he was joining in, and before long, both of us were in hysterics and playing in the snow like children, and to this day it is one of my favourite memories. You brought your partner on holiday for a reason – so allow yourself to have fun and I can promise that you will make beautiful memories together that you will remember for a long, long time.
So there you have it. Sure we are allowed to fight with our partners because fighting is natural and we don’t have to agree with them on everything, but you shouldn’t let it ruin your holiday. Just remember these few things, and everything should be fine. Now that I’ve figured out all of these tricks, I love going on holiday with my boyfriend. We do still have our disagreements, but we both know how to deal with them, and I believe we are all the better for them. We are actually on holiday now down at the coast! I hope you all enjoyed this post and found it helpful, and if you have any tips you’d like to share about travelling with your partner, please share them with me as I am always looking for advice. Even if you just have a fun story to share, I would love to hear it. If you enjoyed the post, please don’t forget to like it and subscribe, so you don’t miss any future blog posts.
Love you all lots
Blondey on a Mission xxx