*Quick disclaimer: this topic choice doesn’t mean that I am currently struggling with a lot of negativity in my life. I have a few friends dealing with a lot of negativity and so decided to use what knowledge I had to try to give them some advice to get through it 🙂
Negativity. What a disheartening term, and unfortunately, it is something that is becoming more and more of a problem. There is negativity almost everywhere you look, and a lot of it can come from people who refuse to exist on the bright side. Negativity is particularly dreadful because it is toxic – it is like a disease. It has the ability to ruin what was a great day, and suck you into being negative too. It can also be quite hard to deal with, especially when it is coming from people around you, and once that devilish toxin has taken hold of you, it can often be quite hard to shake it. Now I know this might sound very optimistic (but you’re going to have to deal with it because I have always been the glass-half-full kind of girl), but there are too many things that you can be positive and happy about, if only you learn to think about that rather than all of the other things that are trying to drag you down. There are ways to escape the bite of this evil negativity creature, and so today that is what we are going to discuss. The next time you are dealing with negativity in any form, I hope that you remember this blog post. Here are my ways or tips for dealing with negativity – I hope you enjoy!
Learn to walk away
Just because you are walking away from a negative situation or a negative, that doesn’t mean you are a coward. Learning to walk away from negativity takes a lot of strength, and it is one of the best ways to deal with it. If things are becoming too negative (and this can be in a fight, or just in a toxic situation with toxic people), you are well within your rights to bow out and walk away. The reason why walking away is a good idea is because you are distancing yourself literally from the problem, allowing you to breathe and not get sucked in further. Walking away also says that you have had enough and are not going to participate in the negativity any longer, which can be powerful enough to stop the negativity in general. Personally, this is my go-to method because it gives me the chance to breathe and stop myself from getting trapped in the toxicity, and it helps me just to put up my little protective shield again. There is nothing wrong with walking away! In fact, if more people learned to do this instead of becoming more invested, we’d probably have a lot fewer problems.
Speak up (if you can)
Okay, I know that this one is a lot easier said than done (pun was totally intended), but sometimes you’ve just got to do it. People won’t know that something is affecting you negatively or stop doing it if you don’t speak up about it. They might not know that they are having an unpleasant influence on you or your day, so you need to be able to muster up your courage and tell them to stop. Yes, sometimes it is not always possible to speak up if the situation or people don’t allow you to do that, but if it is a friend, family member or colleague, you should be able to tell them if they are negative. Who knows – you speaking up might not just help fix the current situation, but it might also help make the other person more positive in general? You never know until you try, so don’t suffer through when you could speak up and stop it from happening.
Again, another one that is easier said than done, but there is a reason why this works. Positivity works like a little protective bubble around you when people are negative – you thinking positive thoughts will stop the negative ones from infecting you and bringing down your mood. Next time there is negativity around you, try to think positive, happy thoughts (like one of your favourite things or a fantastic memory) and you’ll see that the bad energy has less of an effect on you. Think about it like this – the more positive thoughts you have, the higher you rise above the negative ones, making it harder for them to get you. You don’t deserve to let the unhappiness of others bring you down, so think happy thoughts and rise above that poison.
This one can be quite hard to do, especially if you are an overly nice person like I am. People who are intrinsically negative prey on the niceness of others and the only way to avoid this is to set boundaries. By boundaries, I mean make it clear where your comfort level line is and draw the line at what you won’t tolerate. It can be hard at first, but setting those boundaries is the only way negative people will know how far they can go and how much you will let them affect you. Without those boundaries, they will push and push until you snap and lose it completely, which I’m sure you don’t want to do. Figure out how much you are willing to tolerate and then stick by those boundaries – you’ll see that people will stop pushing you more than they know they can.
Don’t let it infect you
As I said earlier, negativity is like an infectious disease that can drag you down with it and hold you captive. So, how do you avoid letting it infect you you might be asking? Don’t worry. I’m about to tell you. Pretend that all the negativity getting thrown at you is like water off a duck’s back – just let it bounce right off you. Now you can do this by using some of the tips I gave earlier, or you could also ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist or didn’t happen (whichever method works for you). If you don’t acknowledge it, then it can’t affect you, and while this may not be the best long-term method, it can be useful if there is one annoyingly negative person that you can’t avoid this week. Ignore it, don’t let it infect you, and your positive bubble will not be popped.
Get it out
Sometimes you can only bite your tongue, be positive and ignore the toxicity around you for so long. Sometimes what you actually need to do is get out all of the pent up frustration from dealing with it, and you can do this in many ways. You can either confront the source of the negativity, or you can vent. Sometimes just opening up and getting all of your thoughts out of your head and either into spoken words or words on paper can be a very healing and relieving process. Personally, I find venting to my giant teddy bear or my cat to be a beneficial experience, and I usually feel so much better afterwards, just because I no longer have those thoughts bubbling and brewing in my head. Yes, it may not solve the issue itself, but it is a way that you can deal with it and stop it from clouding your mind and life, so try it out. You’ll be surprised at how light and free you’ll feel afterwards.
Cut the cord
No one should be forced to tolerate a toxic environment and sometimes to try to stay positive isn’t always going to work or isn’t even worth it. Don’t think that you have to endure it and that it has to be part of your life if it is seriously affecting you and your mental health. Sometimes, the only way to deal with this is to walk away entirely, and by this, I mean cutting yourself off from whatever is making things so toxic. If a friend has been nothing but a toxic presence in your life, then maybe it is time to relook at that friendship. Same for a relationship. If things have become so bad that you just cannot deal with it and it is having severe effects on you, then you are well within your rights to cut that cord and say you are done letting that person affect you (and by that, you mean you are removing them from your circle of influence). This can be very hard to do, but sometimes cutting that one person out can have almost immediate positive effects on the rest of your life, so think about it. There is nothing wrong with accepting that this person/situation won’t change and for your mental health, you are removing them.
Do something positive
Doing something positive can be a great way to deal with negativity because it is eradicating the toxins from your life and returning you to your positive and happy mood before it got infected. If there has been negativity in your day, then take some time to do something positive. That could mean doing some exercise, having a bath, playing with your pet or just sitting and doing something relaxing. Whatever it is, if it makes you smile, then you should take the time to do it. Dealing with negativity is hard work, so you deserve to treat yourself with some positive therapy.
The sun will come out tomorrow
This isn’t necessarily an Annie reference, but the point I am trying to make is that sometimes you have to accept that today was a negative day and move on. Just because you’ve had a bad day or a bad week, doesn’t mean that every other day will be just as bad. Tomorrow is a new day, and that means a new chance to have a happy, positive day. Don’t let one bad day spoil your positive outlook. If today was a bad one, then that’s okay. Now put it behind you and look forward to tomorrow and all the positive things that could happen. I know that this might sound like a very “sunshine and rainbows” approach to life, but the truth is you can’t spend every second waiting for the shoe to drop or worrying that today is going to be just as bad as yesterday, or worse. You don’t know what could happen tomorrow, so try to think that it will be a fantastic day – positive visualization will set you up to at least start on a positive note.
Smile – it annoys them
This is just one that I had to throw in from past experiences. If you know that someone is deliberately being negative or toxic to try and get a reaction, then the best way to oppose them is to smile and show them that it doesn’t affect you. My parents always used to tell me, whenever my brothers were extra annoying, not to respond and to instead smile because all they really want is the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you. By smiling and not reacting, you’ll annoy them because it will prove that they do not affect you. This logic can apply to anyone who is trying to annoy you, be negative or just get a reaction out of you. Smile at them and show you don’t care and sometimes you can even see the steam coming out of their ears from how annoyed they are that their plan didn’t work. So next time someone is trying to get you down, just smile at them and pretend it never happened. Nothing will annoy them more. Score one to you!
So there you have it. If you happen to be dealing with negativity, I hope that this blog has helped you to see that there are ways to deal with it and not let it drag you down. Otherwise, I hope that you all enjoyed today’s blog post and found it useful – I hope that you keep these tips in the back of your mind for the next time there is negativity in your space or people are trying to get you down. Remember this – you deserve to feel happy and positive as much as possible, so don’t let negative days or negative people stop you from living the life that you want to live! I hope you guys all have fantastic weeks – thank you so much for reading! Please like this post if you haven’t already, subscribe, so you don’t miss out on any future posts and share with your friends!
Lots of Love
Blondey on a Mission xxx