Sometimes it can be quite challenging to stay true to yourself. There are so many expectations that are subtly placed on us by society and by the people around us, plus there is all the confusion about who we are as we grow up and our interests, friends and other aspects of our lives change. No wonder so many people don’t know who they are or feel as if they are struggling to stay true to themselves. The truth is that it is sometimes not easy to stay true to yourself because of many pressures and issues that can stem from others or even from within ourselves. However, no matter how tough it gets, we should always strive to be true to ourselves because no one can be you better than you can. After years of struggling with this issue myself, and talking to many other people who have had the same problem, I am finally starting to stay true to who I am and what I believe in. Everyone deserves to feel proud to be who they want to be, so if you perhaps need a nudge or some advice on how to be the you that you want to be, then here are some tips you may want to use.
Do what you love
Our hobbies and interests are part of what makes us unique but also what makes us happy, so if you feel like you may not be yourself at the time then do something you love. How satisfied were you the last time you did something that you really enjoyed? Whether it was going for a run, reading a book or doing some other activity, I am sure that you not only felt refreshed and peaceful, but you also felt at home. That is at least how I feel when I finally take the time out to read a book. The reason why doing this is good is because we are usually pretty good at the things that we love, so we get a confidence and self-esteem boost which allows us to feel good about the real us. There are more reasons all over the web about why doing what you love is good for you, but the bottom line is that you will feel more yourself.
Be selfish with your time
It is often quite challenging to focus on what is good for you and being yourself in the modern world. This is made even more challenging when we stretch ourselves thin, giving up too much of our time to do things that we think are beneficial but are not actually necessary. Now I know that this can be hard because there are often so many things that you want to do or help out with (trust me I am always the first person to leap up and volunteer if someone asks for help with anything), but the truth is that sometimes you need to be selfish with your time. Otherwise, you get so wrapped up in helping others that you don’t get the opportunity to help yourself and do what you would like to do. Think about what you are doing and think about if it will add to your life – if it is not related to work or anything that you have to do, then you are allowed to answer no. Being selfish with your time will not only decrease some of your stress levels, but it will also allow you to focus your energy on yourself so that you can be yourself.
Think about who you spend time with
We’ve all had people come into our lives. Sometimes those people bring out the best in us, but other times we find ourselves changing to fit with them and keep up with them. We get so wrapped up in making sure that we fit correctly with the other people that we forget to stop and realise that we aren’t authentic anymore. You should never have to change to keep friends or make friends. I know this sounds like a line out of a cheesy romance or something that a parent would say, but if they don’t like you for who you are, then they aren’t worth it. People who don’t allow us to be ourselves are actually toxic, and as hard as it can be, you should try and remove those people from your life. All they are doing is taking up your energy and forcing you to put on an act that you don’t necessarily want to take part in. I’ve had this issue for years and only in the last few months have I actually started taking action. You’d be amazed at how freeing it is. Think about who you spend your time with, and if they aren’t boosting you up to be the best you that you want to be, then you may want to rethink why you hang out with them.
Laugh and have fun
Even doctors have commented that laughter can sometimes be the most effective medicine (for more info about why laughing is so awesome, go to the home page and check out the last post before this one). What I also find to be true about laughter is that it is the ultimate revealer of our true selves. When you have fun and truly laugh (I mean you laugh until it hurts and you are out of breath and don’t even know why you are laughing anymore, but you just want to keep laughing because it feels so good), everything disappears. All of the pretences that you put up for the world and the expectations that may stop you from being yourself wash away. It’s because you are just letting go. Laughter washes away all of the bad things and lets you feel all of the good stuff – it leaves what genuinely makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. That is the feeling of being yourself.
Try to ignore peer pressure
Peer pressure is the ultimate identity crusher. It is a horrible ordeal that more of us go through than should be allowed. Peer pressure forces us into situations we don’t necessarily want to be in, to do things we don’t want to do and to think thoughts that just aren’t true. If that doesn’t sound like the ultimate evil, then I would really like to know what your alternative is. I understand that this point might be the hardest because even the strongest of us succumb to peer pressure (which is not our fault), but you need to try and ignore peer pressure. Don’t let others force you into anything that you aren’t comfortable with and try and stick to you and your ideals. I quote Taylor Swift by saying that “the haters are gonna hate … and the fakers are gonna fake” but you sticking your ground will not only help you stay true to yourself, but you will also come out on top because you didn’t need others to make you feel good. You do that all on your own.
Don’t apologise for who you are
Another problem that we sometimes have when we are on a mission to be more authentic is apologising for it. When we are trying to be true to ourselves, we sometimes meet people who don’t agree with what we say, and sometimes that may cause us to apologise. Don’t. Don’t stoop to being rude or inappropriate (because that isn’t okay no matter which way you look at it) but you should never have to apologise for being yourself. You are unique and different (no I am not trying to be a fortune cookie. This is true. No one in the world has your personality, your life experiences and your uniqueness all rolled into one the same way you have it) so why be sorry for that? We are always going to meet people who we don’t mix well with, but apologising for who we are is not the way to deal with that. By apologising, you might as well be saying that you don’t want to be who you are, that you aren’t confident in how you are behaving because it isn’t you. Never apologise for who you are because, again, the right people won’t think of it as being abrasive or forward. They will just see it as you being yourself.
What other people think isn’t important
The last tip I have for you if you are trying to be more yourself is to stop thinking that what other people say is important. Sometimes what happens is you let the opinions of others and the things that they say about you or your stuff get to you, and this sometimes subconsciously changes you or makes you doubt yourself more. This is natural because you usually do care what people think about you and it is normal to be concerned. The truth though, is that what people say doesn’t matter. Often, when people are making negative comments about anything related to you, they are either jealous or feeling insecure in themselves about what you are succeeding at. Don’t let their petty tactics to make themselves feel better force you to be anything other than yourself. Own who you are!
I know that this all may seem like stuff that your parents or a life coach would say, but this is coming from someone who has spent years trying to figure out how to be more true to herself and is only just figuring it out. Try these things out if you feel like you are losing yourself, or take them and adapt them to your situation. The basis of all of this is that everyone deserves to live their life the way they want to like the person they want to be, however, some of us (like me, I still have lots to figure out) may just need a little nudge if we are having difficulties. After reading this post, I hope that you all feel inspired to go out there and own your awesomeness. Feel free to be you. Please remember to like and subscribe to the blog, and share this post with your friends, family, or maybe just someone who you think could use the advice. If you have been on your own journey to find yourself, or have any other tips for being yourself, then please share. I always love hearing from you guys, but that’s all for today.
Lots of Love
Blondey on a Mission xxx